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Parental child abductions:
The vanished children of Japan
by Belinda Teoh
Parental child abductions in Japan
In spring of 2019, loving mother Catherine Henderson, 52, returned home after work in Tokyo, Japan to find an empty home. She frantically looked but found no trace of her daughter, son or husband. Just hours after leaving for work, she was astounded that her life had been wiped out, taken, even her furniture had disappeared.
“I was literally stripped bare of my life. I instantly felt the loss of our children and our shared life as a family,”
- Catherine Henderson
Catherine hasn't seen her children since that devastating day four years ago. Her husband and the Japanese legal system have stopped her from contacting her children.
This is the sad reality of life in Japan for parents who are subject to parental abductions, afterwards left fighting for support from the problematic Japanese legal system.
For Catherine, her only chance to see her children in the flesh is to return to the same train station every day before and after work with the small glimmer of hope that she might see her children. The parents are fighting the battle every single day to simply be reunited.
At the crux of the issue is the fact that Japan does not recognise shared custody upon divorce, in contrast to the majority of other countries, the children typically don't communicate with the non-custodial parent.
The Foreign Commonwealth and Development Office of the United Kingdom states: “The abduction of a child by a parent is not in itself a criminal offence in Japan. When parents decide to divorce, they must agree on who will take sole custody of any children.”
Catherine Henderson with her husband and two children in Japan. Photo by Catherine Henderson
Catherine's story
The story starts in 2003 when Catherine met her Japanese husband in Melbourne, Australia, and they both later moved to Tokyo to start their lives together. They lived a happy life where Catherine loved the buzzing culture of Tokyo working as an English teacher. However this is when Catherine’s life begins to crumble.
After years of what she explains as a happy family life, on the night of the couple’s 15th anniversary dinner, she said she felt “blindsided'' by her husband’s sudden demands for a divorce. Two months later he left, issuing her with a mutual agreement contract granting her full custody of the children, however she didn't sign the forms in the hopes that her husband would change his mind.
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As a loving mother, Catherine let her husband have as many visits with the kids as he wanted during those two months, although her spouse abruptly returned to their house two months later supposedly with a complete change in attitude.
“My husband made my life as miserable as possible, he repeatedly told me to leave Japan and go back to Australia,”
- Catherine Henderson
Photo by Catherine Henderson
The father allegedly instructed their kids to "report" everything their mother did or said while continuing to criticise her every day. The children's connection with their mother suffered gradually as a result of parental alienation.
Parental alienation is when a child is emotionally cut off and ultimately rejects the parent as a result of psychological manipulation of the other parent or relative, it’s a situation that arises when there is a “imbalance of power in a family and is a form of family violence” as acknowledged by the World Health Organisation.
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Dr Geoffrey Greif, a professor at the University of Maryland School of Social Work, explains:
“Lack of trust may develop in many forms like not trusting one’s own instincts and constantly doubting themselves. They might even stray away from intimate relationships because they can’t trust the other person fully,” said Dr Greif.
He explained that a child that is old enough to realise the separation may act out to the parent who abducted them, but in turn the child might also be too attached to that parent to prevent losing that parent as well.
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“The child may also blame the left-behind parent for neglecting them, so there really is no win-win situation in this case, the child is always negatively affected,”
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Afterwards Henderson began a mediation procedure in a Japanese family court to establish a parenting schedule to provide visitation rights to her children. During this process, the Australian mother felt she lacked help from mediators, despite the fact that her husband allegedly refused to agree to any of the elements necessary to construct a decent parenting plan.
Photo by Catherine Henderson
“It’s inconceivable that there are no penalties to a parent who takes the law into their own hands during an ongoing court case, unfortunately, in my experience and other parents in the same situation as me, this seems to be a common theme in the Japanese family court system,” said Catherine.
- Catherine Henderson
Her husband allegedly sent her emails while she was in Australia visiting her father, who was battling Alzheimer's disease, suggesting the kids wanted them to get a divorce and leave their house. After getting back to Japan, things became worse since the father allegedly refused to let their mother join them for dinner any longer and would depart with the kids without saying good-bye.
“I felt unwelcome in my own home,” Catherine describes. She said that despite being treated horribly she would never abandon her children and “would always stay for the sake of the children.” When the children did speak to their mother, they reportedly behaved rudely and dismissively because her husband rewarded them for doing so.
Six months after returning to their house, the father filed for divorce in 2018, which supposedly led to the alleged abduction of their children the following year.
At the time of the abduction, the couple were negotiating a financial separation, the Australian mother's lawyers said that there was nothing she could do and that there was no point in reporting the incident to the police as her husband would receive no punishment. Worse, Henderson's husband would be assured full custody in Japan from the minute he abducted their children.
“Children and young people shouldn’t be taken from their home country for personal gain against their will. If this does happen, the government of their home country should make sure they can return. They shouldn’t be abducted by anyone, including their parents.”​
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“Sets out the rule and procedures for the prompt return of children under the age of 16 to the country to habitual residence when they are taken or retained by one parent.”
This directly counters several laws and agreements that Japan has ratified, including Article 11 of the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC):
Japan signed an agreement to the 1980 Hague Convention:
“Since the time my husband abducted the children, my divorce was finalised in January of this year, I lost custody of the children. I never spoke to my husband or my children even once.”
- Catherine Henderson
Photo by Catherine Henderson
Tamayo Omura, a Japanese family lawyer, who deals with parental child abduction cases, said: “Japan fails to prevent the abduction of children and implementation of appropriate visitation rights to the left-behind parent.”
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Catherine sought visitation rights for her children in the Japanese court, but the judge ultimately ruled their father full custody despite the alleged prior wrongdoings of the abduction of their children.
“Japan's inability to change causes the issue to worsen because avoiding conflict is deeply rooted in Japan’s family culture and customs, to prevent the children from exposure to conflict Japanese courts will allow full custody to one parent and no interaction with the other parent,” added Omura.
Despite the European Parliament stating “cultural traditions cannot be an excuse to violate the rights of children,” this doesn’t seem to stop Japan from allowing parents to abduct their children.
The Foreign Correspondents' Club of Japan: Catherine Henderson "Parental Abduction: Class-Action Lawsuit at Tokyo, Japan. Photo by Catherine Henderson
Catherine’s crusade was so powerful that she felt compelled to hold international press conferences to shine a light on the injustice.
Following this case and countless more, the family court system in Japan is now being discussed, and public opinions will be accepted from 6 December 2022 through to 15 February 2023.
Omura said there isn’t enough awareness about this issue within Japan, without that pressure the Japanese legal system will never change.
“Japan needs to look over these divorce custody cases, especially from the perspective of the children involved,” added Omura.
Adam Perry said this is the only picture he has left of him and his son after the alleged abduction. Photo by Adam Perry
Adam's story
Similar to Henderson’s case, Adam Perry, 41, an English solicitor and Director of British Children Abducted to Japan, a public awareness and support group for affected parents, also reportedly had his children ripped away from him by his wife.
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Adam’s story begins in 2010, when he married his wife after meeting in the United Kingdom. During their time together they lived initially in Japan, followed by the UK, then Dubai and then back in Japan and later had their son in 2012.
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Adam worked in the country as a commercial lawyer for a few years during their marriage. Unfortunately, the following year Adam’s wife moved back to her parent’s house in Saitama, Japan signalling the end of their marriage which eventually ended in 2017.
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When the couple first separated, but maintained communication, Adam was able to meet his son. However, they allegedly did not agree on child visitation. Despite that, both parents agreed on child support payments from Perry of ¥200,000 (roughly £1510) every month.
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At some point in October 2015, Adam’s ex-wife started working with a Japanese attorney and from that point the “communication between him and his son’s mother was cut off,” claims Adam.
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Adam said his ex-wife took their son away in 2017.
“Sadly, I haven’t seen him for over five years now since the abduction, he was just becoming two,”
- Adam Perry
In this time Adam has missed many of his son’s firsts which pains him every-time he thinks of his son. For the next few years, the father of one remained in Japan “fighting for access to see his son.” Despite not being a family lawyer, Mr Perry used his “training and understanding of legal processes and expertise” in commercial law in an attempt to see his son again.
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The three year long battle included attending Japanese family court for over 15 months which resulted in limited one hour sessions of Skype calls and one 40 minute meeting in a café in Japan.
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“As a lawyer, the way I view this situation is there is no meaningful legal action that I can take in Japan, there are many Japanese lawyers who will take my money who will happily start actions in Japanese courts, but I may [only] be able to obtain a tiny amount of contact with my son,” said Mr Perry.
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After Adam exhausted all his time and resources in Japan for three long years. He decided to make “the most difficult decision, to leave Japan and move away from his son” who had turned eight by the time Adam left Japan. Adam returned to the UK feeling defeated but continues to fight for access to his son and enforcement of his legal rights.
Photo by Alexander Schimmeck/ Unsplash
“It is an unfortunate situation. That's not down to personal approach or your own personal actions. It's something that happens by default, under the Japanese system.”
- Adam Perry
The father of one didn’t want to focus on the negative or on his ex-wife’s alleged past actions as he believes “she was motivated by her love for our son.”
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Although Perry still thinks that keeping his son away from his father can be a “very damaging action” and he’s still surprised how much of a bond he has with his son as he does not know him anymore after five years of not seeing him at all.
The English father has worked tirelessly to shine a light on the injustices for parents, as well as writing hundreds of letters to various British officials, including Julia Longbottom, Ambassador of Japan, who in a recent tweet mentioned she met with a Japanese politician discussing issues including Japan reforming related to joint child custody and the Hague Convention.
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After years of lobbying the UK government for assistance to no avail, Adam has grown doubtful anything can be done to help his case: “I would love for the US or UK government to do something really big like stop trade with Japan if they continue allowing children to be abducted but I’m realistic and I know that’s not going to happen.”
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Adam remarked:
"This problem occurs in Japan because Japanese people cannot see how divorcing parents can possibly have a functional relationship for the sake of the child. There is too much conflict, they don't understand how joint custody can work.”
Paul Halton and his three children before the abduction in 2014. Photo by Paul Halton
Paul's story
Paul Halton, 43, is one of the few parents whose kids were a victim of parental abduction, but against all odds has the right to visit them and live with them. However, it required many sacrifices to come to this bittersweet conclusion.
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Paul and his Japanese wife met in the UK where she was studying at the time and later on married and had three children together. Shortly after, Paul’s wife claimed she was having problems adjusting to life in England which unfortunately led to their divorce in 2013.
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Throughout their divorce in UK family court , Paul’s ex-wife supposedly requested to take their children back to Japan but was later denied this, because custody hasn’t been assigned.
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In 2014, when the parental abduction happened, his ex-wife claimed that she was taking the kids on a trip to Cornwall (where they visited often) so the father said he didn’t question it at the time.
“She left to another country with the kids without any warning, she just disappeared one day,”
- Paul Halton
However, when Paul left to collect the children from his ex-wife, he received an email saying that she had taken their son, 10, daughter, 8 and youngest son, 7 to Japan and wasn't planning on coming back.
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“I’d imagine everything was probably quite confusing for them (Paul's children). They're quite numb to it now. Emotions generally gain some sort of coping mechanism,” explained Mr Halton.
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After a year-long battle, through the UK court system, the court came to the conclusion that Paul’s children should be sent back to the UK, but his ex-wife allegedly refused as she had already gained sole custody of the children when she arrived in Japan. This is an example of how the two legal systems are at odds with each other.
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The Japanese court enforced orders against the abducting parent which included financial penalties every day the children weren't returned per child, but she was able to get away with it due to not having a job. Later, the court enforced visitation rights and Paul flew to Japan to attend mediation court. The court and Paul’s ex-wife came to an agreement again which rewarded Paul only a day with his children, he took them to Universal Studios Japan.
The mediation court also concluded to some video calls monthly, but Paul claims that he, “mostly interacted with his oldest, as the younger ones were distracted by games and weren’t really engaging in a conversation.”
- Paul Halton
The 'Orange Parade' protesters can be seen protesting against the sole custody system in Tokyo, Japan. Photo by Catherine Henderson
Feeling increasingly frustrated, Paul later attempted to file for the Hague Convention against his ex-wife for taking his children away from him (illegally under UK law) but the Hague Convention has a one-year time limit as the child would be considered settled in the country after that period.
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In March of this year, after not being able to see his children face-to-face for over seven years, Paul received an email from his ex-wife stating that his first two children (who are well versed in English) wanted to continue their education in England.
The two children who are now 18 (son) and 16 (daughter) have since moved back to the UK in July this year and are now living with their father while their mother has plans to move to the UK next spring to be closer to the children. For Paul, he finally has two of his children by his side, unfortunately, his youngest son only speaks Japanese which means the father and son have not been able to communicate for over four years due to the language barrier.
In the eyes of these parents, Paul who had an eight year struggle is now the lucky one. He actually gets to hold his children, see them day by day, unlike Catherine and Adam who are still left in a Japanese loophole, missing the crucial moments of their children’s lives.
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“It’s incredibly painful, you always feel like your children are a part of you, it’s like an arm being cut off. I see mothers and daughters on the street walking hand-in-hand and it’s so normal but people take it for granted, I think to myself why don’t I get that? Why didn’t I appreciate those simple things?” Catherine describes.
It is a difficult and heart-wrenching situation for any parent to be separated from their child, let alone due to circumstances beyond their control. I’m sure parents all over the world can feel empathy for these parents.
Belinda Teoh
A Malaysian journalism student currently residing in the UK, I am a writer for Bournemouth University's Nerve Now and BUzz News publications. In addition, I work as an editorial intern at Impakter magazine. I am passionate about writing on topics such as human rights, crime, justice, and popular culture. In my free time, I enjoy swimming and exploring the culinary delights of different countries.
